I’m having trouble right now comprehending how the difficult, painful, unspeakable things in life can happen, and that the result could create stronger humans. Are we stronger because we overcame pain, suffering or challenges? Are we hardened and a bit more distant because of them? Can it be possible to be both? Do we only enjoy things in life because it has an end? I suppose birth is quite often a complicated, bloody, loud mess that is painful and damaging… and from it we get a new life or lives. So is death – a messy, heavy experience, violent even if it isn’t. And so we enter and exit this existence and all the people, animals, beings affected by our being here change a bit as we come and go. Is that all life is for? Affecting change in others? A chain reaction of love, hate, pain, building, growing, hurting.
I write this as an old friend must have his best friend – his dog – put to sleep tonight because of brain cancer. And this past weekend a friend of a friend I never even met passed away at the age of 23 to lung cancer, when his life had arguably just begun. And just a few months ago, my 62 year old father-in-law was diagnosed with and died of liver cancer in less than 5 months. Death has been staring me in the face as of late, in so many ways and its been hard to cope with it. Strangely, I feel selfish to feel anything, since I’m not the one who lost a husband, a father, a son or a friend. But I am in awe of how much these beings affected me, having been in my life an extremely short or even non-existent amounts of time. I guess I’m slowly learning what it means to live, what it means to be alive and to connect and to share. Its all we have here and we only have so much time to do it before we’re not able to anymore. Please do it as much as you possibly can… we’re not promised we can still do it tomorrow.