In the last few days, I’ve realized so many things. Its one of those moments in life when you go through what seems to be a mental and emotional growth spurt of sorts. Unfortunately, it appears my judgment has been obscured by my depression for far too long. I’ve successfully ignored all the things in my life for which I should have been grateful. I can’t really explain why, though it seems clear to me that so much of what I once had needed to be taken away before I could truly value what I have been left with: my amazing friends and family who never seem to fail me, as well as my own talent at being adaptable and resourceful. I think I’ve been focused on my weaknesses for so long that I never noticed my strengths. Finally utilizing these strengths brings me such joy and meaning that I don’t mind my weaknesses nearly as much as I used to.
What might be the most surprising thing is that for the first time I understand why some people want children and why we humans have the desire to create things in general. I can see now that its out of a need to leave this world in a better place than we found it. Its all part of the mental evolution we now appear to be going through as a species, which is perhaps taking the wheel while our physical evolution has taken the backseat. I know I always wanted to make an impact but I constantly struggled with how. That discovery process has been rather painful and tedious, but I think its finally paying off. My main goal now as I move forward in life is to employ my new found strengths in everything I do and keep myself as aware, determined and prepared as I possibly can for whatever opportunities may arise – and consequently be happy.